Are you a yung revolutionary who thinks fucking with people is better than considering your own choices and making any kind of genuine sacrifice?
Here at DEMAND we know that confrontation is the best approach. But we hate being confronted with our own bad stank.
So next time you get in a convo about food and ethics, get this up in your *grill*:
‘I Hate Eating Animals, But I Love To Kill’
Veganism is admirable as dick but let’s be real, at some point you made the careful, weighted, psychopathic decision that the suffering of living creatures is worth it for the good feels in your belly-bell.
But that’s okay! Unlike everyone else on the internet, we’re not judging. We know you. You wanna go further.
Here at DEMAND, we always go further.
Preach it, Joey. There’s a reason you’re the only one who got a spin off.
Let’s put this argument into TOP GEAR.
Fuck, he got old.
Which is a nice segue to our pitch: Eat the useless. Kill them yourselves, or kill them for others, and eat them instead of nice fluffy animals.
Be honest. How many hoomans we got? Like they say to me at the blackjack table: Too many! Overpopulation is a crushing drain on our planet’s limited resources, and unless we colonise Mars soon, we all gonna die.
Mind-check numero duo: most of us have crippling emotional problems that stem from repressed rage. Don’t yell at your sex pal mid-badoink! Kill a bad stranger, and eat their goddamn leg.
It’s all about pleasure in the end, and you gotta run them tallies: who can we kill for sheer joy? This nice piggy who just wants to get his butt in mud, or that little cunt Piggy from Lord Of The Flies?
Like every spooker, that book was an instruction manual. Why else would it be taught in schools. Don’t eat the pig—eat the four-eyes.
Jonathan Safran Foer’s Eating Animals is a good book, but the man himself is such a drag! Don’t eat animals. Eat him. He can’t complain. He’s in you.
Veganism is implausible for the poor due to its financial and logistical demands? Don’t eat animals. Eat the poor!
I know what you’re gonna say: this is ludicrous, offensive and impossible. But we think being a bleeding heart is about radicalising every convention that liberal society holds dear. And speaking of bleeding hearts—you are what you eat.
Do it. DEMAND dares you.