#demandVLAD writes: Be The Short Suit Guy

You know who I’m talking about. You need a thing. Everyone in your #crew has a thing: the hat guy, the moomoo guy (is it spelled that way? Who cares, I love thinking about cows on a dude), that girl who wears dress shirts like she works in an office but who the hell works in an actual office these days, but shit, those collarbones.

You need a thing. Here’s your thing:

Short.

Suit.

You’re the boss of your own body.

In an age of rampant feminism, men gotta own their shit too. Look at yourself in the mirror and say: I love myself. I love my body. I deserve the short suit. I can be That Guy.

Do this every morning, and after two weeks, buy the goddamn suit, buy two more, and start crushing it every. single. day.

You can crush it everywhere from beach

• recline on a rock with a Corona, Vin Diesel #2fast2furious style to the park
• smash that picnic with a Corona, Vin Diesel #fastfive style and even work
• when Vin Diesel works for the bad guys, #f8furious style

And yeah, I admit, mea culpa, people gotta work. For my brothers wageslavin’ away, full respect to your integrity, you’re the ones making capitalism your bitch. While you’re doing that, why not pop out dem gams?

I’m talking calves here, people. Diamonds in the RUFF RUFF. I’m howling for you, and soon enough, everyone else will be too.

VLADTIP: Mix up your routine with a spin on the bike to maximize your calf POP before dusting off those shorty-babes.  

VLADTIPMAXXED: Hit a spin class. Yeah they’re for girls, but what is gender? Anyone tries to stop you, hit them with that line. Boom – you’re in for a spin.

We’re men in today’s world, and we need identities to live, love, and party. Here’s yours. This one’s for free.

Be the guy who wears a short suit to every fucking event.

#demandVLAD